


Pathetic.

by MarquisDeMindfangette (KittyCreative)



Series: Jamilton Angst Series [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: :3, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Ham and Thom are not working this out, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mentions of attempted suicide, and cuddle, but they really need to, like the adults they are, make progress, ok, on the kitchen floor, they might
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:30:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8003812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyCreative/pseuds/MarquisDeMindfangette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was interrupted by Alex shushing him and he just nodded, resting his head against the cabinet door and reaching to maneuver his arm around Alexander, pulling him closer. </p><p>"I think" Hamilton spoke, "We can work this out."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pathetic.

The days following the one at the hospital were torture.

For Thomas at least.

Hamilton, unlike James and Martha, was insistent on staying and helping him do anything that he could do simply. 

Alex had played out simple rules for the apartment; Thomas was not to go in the kitchen, bathroom or deck unless the shorter man was there with him, he couldn't use pencils, only pens, and he could only eat with spoons.

It was pretty silly, in Jefferson's opinion. But it was almost.

Oh, what was the word he was looking for?

Endearing

Well, it was nice to know that Alexander cared for him.

He still couldn't say that he /loved/ him, however.

Because even though Thomas still tried to work through his own pain to make Alexander happy.

It didn't matter if he was happy, he just cared about Hamilton. He wanted him to be happy.

What did he have to do? 

Today, plan make Alexander happy would have to be put on hold. 

It was nice, for Thomas, to actually do something other than worrying and hoping he wouldn't still be uselessly pitied. 

He took a break to actually relax, open a book and read. It was a good book too. It was about how things were made and he found it interesting, not knowing that he had had an interest in things like that.  

Thomas glanced over at the clock, waiting for Alex to come home from work. Work. Right, he had to go back at one point, he knew Washington wouldn't let him off that much longer. 

He had been pretty good about following the rules set for him, but today he was feeling rather thirsty. If Alex wasn't here and he got himself a glass of water, Jefferson was sure he would be fine.

The book made an oddly satisfying sound that broke the science he had been sulking in when he placed it down, padding over to the kitchen.

The Virginian opened the cabinet, pulling out a relatively small glass of water, just planning on chugging it down.

He didn't get to play through with that plan however because the door had opened suddenly and Thomas had dropped the glass on the ground.

The sound it made rang through his ears and he hadn't even noticed that Alexander had walked into the room. 

"Thomas why the fuck-"

"I know I know, I'll clean it up while you lecture me about why I shouldn't be in the kitchen okay?" Jefferson has said with a soft sigh, leaning down to reach under the sink and pull out the dustpan. 

"No," Hamilton has said grabbing Thomas' wrist which had resulted in him looking up and the two making awkward eye-contact. 

"Alexander, I'm not as pathetic as you think I am."

* * *

 

They had been sitting here, on the floor for a while now, maybe an hour or so. But that was enough for them to realize that they really needed to get their shit together. The two of them.

Alexander sat next to Thomas, leaning against him, his work tie un-knotted and fingers entwined with the other males. 

"I just... am sorry. It's so stupid but-" he laughed slightly, resting his head on the Virginian's shoulder "I'm scared of love. It's a big concept that you are taught. Being told that when you find somebody you love that you will be with them forever but look where that got me. I've lost my mom, dad, brother, pretty much anybody who has ever dated me in the past and now I'm just. I'm just scared. Scared that I will lose you too."

 Thomas nodded slightly before contributing his own thoughts. "Yeah, i get that. I just try so hard to make my partners feel good and you didn't look happy with me and I just thought-"

He was interrupted by Alex shushing him and he just nodded, resting his head against the cabinet door and reaching to maneuver his arm around Alexander, pulling him closer. 

"I think" Hamilton spoke, "We can work this out."


End file.
